DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

 

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233
Stillwater Domestic Violence Hotline  1-800-215-3020
Tulsa Domestic Violence Hotline     1-918-584-0096 

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Domestic family violence causes and threatens injury to a family member . Those who batter believe they have the right to keep their victim in line. Some abusers consider it a form of discipline or a learning experience. Acts of domestic violence include:

 

*  physical mistreatment/battering:( slapping, hitting, punching, kicking

    biting, burning, threatening with weapons, and hitting with objects) 
* sexual abuse: (rape, incest, bizarre sexual demands)

* verbal abuse: ( threats, insults, harassment)

*  psychological /emotional abuse: ( withholding love, sympathy, understanding

* neglect: (Inadequate physical or emotional care: deprivation of food, clothing,

   shelter, emotional support, physical care, and medication)

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A husband who abuses his wife may also abuse his children. An abused wife may take out frustrations on her children. Children who are abused or witness violence may abuse siblings and grow up to abuse their own families or parents. 

 

 

* Stereotyped negative views of women: Submission is expected. Belief that

   women want to be controlled. Considers women as property. Depersonalizes.

* Economic Frustrations: Unemployment, Unwanted or unplanned pregnancies.

   Overwhelming family financial responsibilities. Illness in the family.

* Low Self Image: Distrust, Self imposed feelings of being alone. Trouble with

   coworkers or authority.

* Family History: Witnessed or experienced abuse in the past. Reared in a \

   violent home.

* Lack of Communication and social skills: Expresses all emotions in the form of 

   anger . Lack of impulsive control. Refuses to seek help or discuss problems. 

  Unable to accept responsibility. Minimizes abuse. Blames others or situations.

 

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Stalking is when a person becomes obsessed with an individual. It occurs between acquaintances, in marriages, or from intimate relationships that have been severed. Stalking is intended to bring terror and intimidation to the victim. Stalking is against the law in many states. It can involve:

 

 

* following or appearing within the sight of the victim, surveillance.

* approaching or confronting the victim in public or private.

* appearing at the intended victim's workplace or residence.
* harassing phone calls.
* physical violence
* sending mail, e-mail, and gifts

 

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A stalker usually collects information about his victim through co-workers, friends, relatives, and other associates. More aggressive stalkers seek revenge on their victims by making threats, sabotage, destroying property, and by killing pets.

Their victim lives in fear. 

 

Many victims resort to filing a protection order or restraining orders. These orders require a stalker to keep a specified distance away from his victim. 

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HELP FOR VICTIMS 

 

Think about your own happiness and safety . Call someone for support, like a friend, family member, church member, crisis hotline, domestic violence, rape shelter, or a counselor. Notify local law enforcement . Assault by anyone is a crime, even a family member. Leave or have someone stay with you. Do this especially if  you have children. Seek medical attention. Keep records and photos of injuries. Get a civil protection order  to keep the abuser away. Seek therapy for both the abuser and the victim, and possibly the entire family.

 

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   GETTING OUT  

 

Many ask why victims don't leave, Contrary to popular belief many victims do .

Every abusive relationship is different, but there are many factors that contribute to staying in an abusive situation including:

 

Financial dependence upon abuser
Fear of shocking friends and relatives
Embarrassment, shame, sense of failure, and falling short of society's expectations, about marriage and family

Threats involving children
Guilt: Hoping change will occur, love for the abuser and wanting to stand by him

Not knowing where or how to get help

In many situations , the victim cannot to to a close friend or relative for help, because it is the first place the abuser will look, and the abuser's presence may put both of their lives in danger.